tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post5386894629722722029..comments2023-09-23T01:48:32.264-07:00Comments on Indonesia Economical: AGRICULTURE AND ECONOMY OF INDONESIAEstro Dariatno Sihalohohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03176193138197545465noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-1405108366417726562012-12-12T08:33:37.924-08:002012-12-12T08:33:37.924-08:00I think you should write more opinions like what t...I think you should write more opinions like what the others said.<br />Moreover your opinions about the agriculture and economy state at this time, maybe you can write your opinions by compare it between past and current situation. Because in ur essay you only write about agriculture and economy of Indonesia in the past based by facts that you got.<br />Overall, it's a good essay bon :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10366619869192911046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-63932093960287103332012-12-11T07:12:00.435-08:002012-12-11T07:12:00.435-08:00I like the conclusion part, eventhough its raught ...I like the conclusion part, eventhough its raught and hard but writer sounds optimistic and bold. and I know that he must have write from his heart. keep it up, indonesian proud of you gideon! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-53655227475137424062012-12-11T07:09:43.449-08:002012-12-11T07:09:43.449-08:00I like the conclusion part, eventhough its raught ...I like the conclusion part, eventhough its raught and hard but writer sounds optimistic and bold. and I know that he must have write from his heart. keep it up, indonesian proud of you gideon! :)prishttp://www.facebook.com/priska.amelia.14noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-24633496804483288332012-12-11T06:58:41.198-08:002012-12-11T06:58:41.198-08:00I think your essay is quite good.. My comments are...I think your essay is quite good.. My comments are similar with most of your friends comments.. Try to develop more in the weakness and solution part.. Don't just mention the weaknesses but try to explain a little bit more so that the reader won't have difficulties to understand your point.. As for the solution part, you only focused in the government fault and abandoning other weaknesses which also need to be covered.. Thank you and God bless..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-82184847486953551262012-11-05T09:07:53.987-08:002012-11-05T09:07:53.987-08:00Hi Bona,
I don't have to say much about the st...Hi Bona,<br />I don't have to say much about the structure as it's already good (introduction, body, and conclusion)<br />actually, in an essay, the writer's analysis and argument are very important. the analysis is supported by accurate and credible information. In your essay, there're a lot of information and facts but lack of your own opinions. the readers want to know more about your views toward this matter.<br />About "In Indonesia, it’s a fact that the government don’t care too much about farmers" "If the government is not reliable anymore, ... " <br />I think you must include evidence (you only put some points) that what you have written is a truth.<br />lastly, I must say that your essay is good enough since this is your first time to be an English essay writer :)Jessyhttps://twitter.com/Jessy_Jejessynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-42686880710219503362012-11-02T09:36:38.775-07:002012-11-02T09:36:38.775-07:00Hi Bona Doni,
nice to read your article, such a g...Hi Bona Doni,<br /><br />nice to read your article, such a good one I have ever read, four thumbs for ya<br /><br />first, i need to give you a correction, epecially in grammatical writing.<br /><br />if i'm not mistaken, you have posted this statement 'there are no doubts .......'<br />well actually, this isn't wrong, but much better read if it sounds like 'there's no any doubt .....'<br /><br />just that, over all, you are seemingly a good article writer.<br /><br />oh ya, it also contributes you a lot of points if you relates the relevancy of your case with this era, and how it boosts industrial sector coz ya know they both are on one railway actually.<br /><br />at last, I rate you for 5 stars of 5 stars for this lovely article. Keep writing and posting dude !Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05833151657535178714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-62414887276084288552012-11-02T08:07:37.327-07:002012-11-02T08:07:37.327-07:00This is a good essay. my opinion is almost the sam...This is a good essay. my opinion is almost the same as the opinions of your friends.<br />My opinion: you have to be more multiply your opinion, add the facts that you have and don't focus too much on government mistakes.<br />The rest I really like your essay.<br />Good Luck Don :)Lady Elizabeth Febrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17915377711986814890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-12050316196068501562012-11-01T07:26:04.008-07:002012-11-01T07:26:04.008-07:00Its a great essay.
But maybe you can also write w...Its a great essay. <br />But maybe you can also write what is the positive sides that the government has done and what is the impact of the action. Is there any improvement or not and not only criticized the government by saying they didn't take care of it. Goodluck! :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-66062569769866417482012-11-01T06:10:54.610-07:002012-11-01T06:10:54.610-07:00Oh yeah, one more thing, maybe you can use another...Oh yeah, one more thing, maybe you can use another title that sounds more interesting (:Finhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03975944902065987106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-19537689978890756162012-11-01T06:09:33.676-07:002012-11-01T06:09:33.676-07:00What a great essay! I like the way you present you...What a great essay! I like the way you present your opinions and how you put the facts and your opinions all together. It's well-written. But I think your essay sounds too subjective, especially in the last part. You put a lot of critics to the government. It's like you're judging them. It is true that they causes some problems, but I believe there are positive things that they've done as well. You can put some problems in the past and some efforts that government put. Well, that's all from me. I'm not an expert on this, so I'm not even sure with my own comment, but I hope it's useful. Keep on trying, I know you can! Good luck (: <br /> Finhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03975944902065987106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-59868982972337444002012-10-31T08:39:52.301-07:002012-10-31T08:39:52.301-07:00Couldn't agree more. The government should add...Couldn't agree more. The government should add more attention to the agricultural sector because this country have good agricultural condition (as you mention on your essay), and what this country need to improve first is the education of the farmers. If the farmers are well-educated, they will be able to produce more effectively. We need educated people who are dedicated to this sector to train those farmers.Manuellahttp://manuellagracia.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-86933124007818670642012-10-30T08:28:01.634-07:002012-10-30T08:28:01.634-07:00I'll get to the point.
Well, actually I don...I'll get to the point.<br /><b><br /><b><br /><br />Well, actually I don't think your opinions are insufficient or what. But you need to extend the idea of the stated opinion (e.g giving more examples, explain what would be the result of the solution you provided)<br /><b><br /><br />In this case, you need to elaborate more, so that people can have a better understanding of your opinion. Simply put, your opinion isn't deep enough. Personally, I think you didn't provide sufficient information, such as reasons of why you state that kind of opinion or maybe how's the solution given will work out with the current problem?<br /><b><br /><br />At least, that's what I think about your essay. It's a great essay actually. And, seriously dude, I can comment anything I want but I can't do the same job properly, you know? I might not produce an essay that is as decent as yours. Well anyway, keep giving your best shot!</b></b></b></b>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08303022630883383743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-62872529325897666962012-10-30T08:10:13.301-07:002012-10-30T08:10:13.301-07:00For me, ur article is okay.. But for the weakness ...For me, ur article is okay.. But for the weakness part, can u add the impact of that weakness and it will better if u can add an empiric data for the impact of that weakness.. That's all..fajarnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-66436910880718022042012-10-30T06:18:20.507-07:002012-10-30T06:18:20.507-07:00@Benny Pratama
Thanks, for your feedback brother :...@Benny Pratama<br />Thanks, for your feedback brother :D<br /><br />Well, yeah you're right. It seems that I'm a bit 'limiting myself' in this essay, because there are also some limitations given from the teacher.<br /><br />I hope someday I can make a better essay, at least now I know that an essay should contain more opinions tham facts :D<br /><br />Bona Doni GideonBona Doni Gideonhttp://www.facebook.com/ZakNSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-87333563260154431062012-10-30T06:12:09.617-07:002012-10-30T06:12:09.617-07:00So, brother (if I can say), here's my point of...So, brother (if I can say), here's my point of view, and let me get it straight.<br />Maybe before you give some critics for government, you should tell the people some good steps that government has taken to overcome our agricultural problem first, just to make your essay looks as an objective essay.<br /><br />Second. For me, you need more details in your essay. Not only detailed facts about Indonesian agriculture, but also in your opinion. I suggest, find more detailed and latest facts about it, and think deeper, expand your mind, to produce some great opinion. Try to look at the problem in different point of view, like the connection between it and social aspect (social-economy), and so on, for example.<br /><br />Don't forget to give some appropriate, realistic, and again, detailed solutions for the problems, not only for government and the farmers, but also for our society. <br /><br />Then you're ready to get A now !!<br />:DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00512395432754108327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-67338436269213289132012-10-30T05:25:09.768-07:002012-10-30T05:25:09.768-07:00@Tom Mantab
Thanks for the feedback, at least now...@Tom Mantab<br /><br />Thanks for the feedback, at least now I know that an essay should contain opinions rather than facts.<br /><br />I really appreciate your comment.Bona Doni Gideonhttp://www.facebook.com/ZakNSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-54074362659378517842012-10-30T05:19:36.535-07:002012-10-30T05:19:36.535-07:00wow,your essay is pretty good,I like it.
But I thi...wow,your essay is pretty good,I like it.<br />But I think you should give your opinion more, maybe like how to cover the weakness if we focus on agriculture and other else..<br />Keep it up Bona!I know you can do it better!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14057468240836225882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-50938194933820458342012-10-30T05:16:41.749-07:002012-10-30T05:16:41.749-07:00Thanks for the feedback :D
I'll put more opin...Thanks for the feedback :D<br /><br />I'll put more opinions on my next essays.<br /><br />Actually, the teacher has give some limitations for the essay, so can't put more things into the essay<br /><br />Bona Doni GideonBona Doni Gideonhttp://www.facebook.com/ZakNSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-67185009579662689592012-10-30T05:04:46.918-07:002012-10-30T05:04:46.918-07:00I think you can do better than this...
Maybe you c...I think you can do better than this...<br />Maybe you can tell us about the good prospect of Indoneian agriculture for next 10 years maybe. <br />For me, you should put more opinions than facts, because this is an essay. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7676013420103577852.post-50796807162887980532012-10-30T04:55:02.139-07:002012-10-30T04:55:02.139-07:00Guys, I want to make a correction here:
The total...Guys, I want to make a correction here:<br /><br />The total area of rice field in Indonesia is 7,8 million hectares, not 7,8 hectares.<br />Sorry for the mistake.<br /><br />Bona Doni GideonBona Doni Gideonhttp://www.facebook.com/ZakNSnoreply@blogger.com